The Three Irritants That Ruffle My Calm

The Three Irritants That Ruffle My Calm

There are days when life ambles along like a leisurely river under a winter sun—and then there are days when a few, very specific behaviours stir the waters, sending tiny ripples across my otherwise philosophical calm. I do not claim to be flawless; age and experience have taught me that imperfections are as essential as breath. Yet, a few pet peeves do raise their heads, nudging my patience and whispering, “Surely we can do better as a civilisation.”

Here, then, are my top three—listed not with irritation, but with a contemplative sigh, a sprinkle of humour, and a philosopher’s conviction that self-awareness is the first step toward grace.

1. The Art of Speaking Without Listening

If civilisation were a symphony, listening would be its most delicate note. Yet many people treat conversations like verbal sprints, eager to reach the finish line of their own opinions.

What irks me is not disagreement—diversity of thought is the lifeblood of progress—but the habit of talking at rather than talking with. When someone interrupts just as you are about to land a meaningful idea, the moment evaporates like mist over the Himalayan foothills.

As someone who has guided countless students, staff members, and parents, I have always believed that true leadership—and true humanity—rests in the ability to listen deeply. When this art is abandoned, discourse becomes noisy.

2. Delayed Responses in a Hyper-Connected Era

I belong to a generation that wrote letters with fountain pens, waited for postmen, and savoured the thrill of a reply that arrived after days—or weeks. Ironically, in the digital age of instant messaging, it is not the delay itself that annoys me but the indifference behind the delay.

A simple acknowledgement—“Received,” “Will reply shortly”—costs nothing but conveys respect. Yet messages vanish into the void, as if sucked into a black hole of modern detachment.

In a world where everyone is connected, it is remarkable how quickly one can feel left out or invisible. Perhaps this is why delayed responses now pinch a little more sharply—they reflect not time, but priority.

3. Chaos Masquerading as Creativity

As a former Principal and someone shaped by the discipline of Physics, I admire the elegance of order.

But some people believe that messiness is a mark of genius. While that may be true for the likes of Einstein, for the rest of us chaos often leads only to forgotten deadlines, misplaced sincerity, and the famous refrain:
“I thought you were doing it!”

Whether it is unstructured meetings, haphazard planning, or simply clutter—physical or emotional—I find it unsettling. Order, to me, is not rigidity but a silent courtesy. It allows life to flow smoothly, like a well-composed musical score where each note knows exactly when to arrive.

A Gentle Reflection

Pet peeves are not judgements; they are small windows into our values. Mine arise from a life shaped by discipline, humility, and a deep longing for meaningful human connection.

I have travelled across classrooms, corridors, hostels, mountains, and memories—and somewhere along the way, I learnt that the world is kinder when we listen, respond, and organise our thoughts before offering them to others.

In the hush of life’s unfolding scroll,
A few small habits test the soul.
Yet patience grows with every breath,
Taming storms that rage beneath.

For even peeves, when understood,
Can shape our hearts towards the good